In our journey we have come to believe that we are only capable of loving others when we first learn to love the self. What does self love actually mean? Does it mean that I keep convincing myself of my goodness based on what I perceive to be my strengths and specialities?
The starting point for love is complete acceptance. As long as we put conditions to love – it stops being love and becomes the currency of acceptance, value or happiness. To break away from this belief of love – it is to realise that I don’t love because of … I love. True love doesnt need to be validated but it simply loves.
When we come from this premise, then our perception of self love begins to transform. Instead of feeling the need to love the self – I begin to be love. Love is not an emotion – love is the giving of the self. It is the highest expression or the purest energy of the self. Love is a name for the pure awareness and radiant light of consciousness, which is „the self‟, but only when we are free of all attachment, free of all attempts to possess, hold on, own, acquire or desire anything or anyone. Love is what you/we are. It is what the „I‟ that says „I am‟ is!
To say, „“I love my self ”, only sustains an illusion that there is an „I‟ and a „self ‟, when, in truth, there is only the „I‟ that says „I am‟. The „I‟ is the „self‟ and the self is love. Just as the eye cannot see itself and the finger cannot touch itself, so you cannot love your self. Love cannot love love! Neither the self nor love is an object. Love just „is‟ because you just „are‟ and because I just am!
This level of „self-realisation‟ completely alters our perceptions and perspectives of love. It transforms the meaning of love from something superficial, as depicted by Hollywood in particular and marketing in general, into something that is not a thing! It transforms our definitions of love from something that needs to be acquired, into an awareness of „the self‟ as a source of love in the world. It frees us from the „great search‟ for love and we come to know our self (and the other) as someone who is already and always present „as love‟. It may be hidden behind too much thinking, it may be temporarily suppressed by too many memories, it may be distorted by our attachments into more familiar feelings of fear (of loss). But love is never lost, for we can never lose our self.
And we all intuitively know the answer to the question, „how do I know love?‟ At what might be called the „spiritual level‟, the level of our consciousness, only when we give what we have do we know what we have. Only when we give what we are do we know what we are. Which is why, when you give that gift „with love‟, you are the first to know and feel that love „on the way out‟.
Only when you give what you are do you know that what you have is the same as what you are. And when you give what you are that‟s when you realize your self as love.