Over decades of rapid change in lifestyles the family structure has undergone changes which challenges us to sustain strong family bonds in a modernised world.

The basis of any healthy relationship is TRUST.  When there is a lack of trust it adds to self-doubt, unmet expectations and second guessing each other.  Trust allows for an atmosphere of safety which is a healthy environment for honest, authentic conversations.  Trust removes the element of feeling judged and its in such an atmosphere that there is a feeling of mutual respect and growth. Such a level of security implies that instead of looking for a listener outside the safety net of the home, one will naturally be drawn towards the inner circle of family and reach out for help.

Very often as a family we tend to live past each other – each one absorbed in their own priorities and schedules.  Each one rushing and there not being enough time.  Often the misunderstanding is that we need a lot of time.  However its quality not quantity, its about being fully present and listening.

Like the fingers of the same hand being different, hence each one has a particular strength and weakness.  As a family each member is different and unique.  Family is about these individual personalities finding common ground in the values they share.  What enables there to be harmony in spite of the variety and the difference is the vision each one holds for the other.  Conflict usually occurs when we trying to create a single mould into which each one needs to fit in.  But when there is acceptance of the uniqueness of the other we can use the difference as a strength.  This brings harmony.  At a spiritual level it relates to seeing the other as a soul, a spiritual being who has been gifted with qualities from the Divine.  This vision instils a deep and profound respect.

Our social conditioning plays a huge role whereby each one assumes roles based on cultural influences.  Todays society in many ways challenges these traditional roles, because our current time requires both genders to contribute to both earning financially but also household chores.  Unless we adapt to these changing roles with a keen sense of appreciation of each ones contribution there can be conflict. Conflict usually occurs because of power based on the ego and the need for control.  It comes back to trust, where there is trust there is no need for ego.  Differences need to be communicated but with understanding and love.  Often there is a dance we need to learn between humility and self-respect to navigate this.

Finally the invasion of social-media and with the advent of AI, family bonds seem unimportant and something which can be avoided in comparison to the thousands of virtual friendships and array of followers lined up which makes up for all the needs of companionship. The age-old saying that man is a social animal has slowly but rapidly transformed into man is a virtual prisoner.

We crave connection, because connection is what makes us feel valued.  Virtual connections give a temporary high – however it is often just fake.  Real connections occur when we are together.  It is a very widely spoken about fact that a family that eats together and prays together stays strong together. When a family sits together for meals, firstly each one is giving a slice of their time into the joint project called “family” and as we all know that money may come and go but time once gone can never come back. Meal times are an opportunity to share the dramas of each ones day – allowing for a shared feeling of belonging.  Similarly, when we pray together, we are combining our individual energies and linking with the Supreme energy whom we refer to as God or Almighty. Such combined remembrance of God fills each one with Love, Joy, Peace, Wisdom and Purity and these positive virtues ignited in each one will fill the home with a nurturing energy which will sustain harmony and peace.

The golden rule for creating and sustaining harmony among family members respect and love without any judgement or pre-conceived notions. Spend quality time with each other enriching each one. Harmony stems from a deep, unconditional affection. This love is the first type of love a person experiences and is essential for emotional well-being, providing a foundation of security and support.

Raja Yoga for breath

The word Yoga is derived from the Sanskrit root ‘Yuj’ meaning to join or to yoke or to unite.  As per yogic scriptures the practice of Yoga leads to the union of individual consciousness with that of Universal Consciousness, indicating a perfect harmony between the mind and body, between man and nature.

We focus on exercises as yoga, however, it is the union or rather harmonizing of matter which is body and spirit or consciousness.  In many ways humanity, with the influence of materialism, has become disconnected from the inner self, the spiritual self. This disconnect has resulted in internal conflicts and discontentment in everyday life, which gets exasperated by the continuous change in our external world.  That is one reason why we are finding how this discord and conflict is being revealed through our bodies.

We all know that mental stress leads to lowering of our immunity and a varied number of other psychosomatic illnesses. That is why yoga is so relevant in today’s day and age – we need to realign and harmonize internally first so that we can then harmonize with our world.

The various asanas of yoga are helpful to relax and center oneself; however, an internal alignment can only truly occur when we understand and give time to reconnect with our spiritual nature.  This is the alignment of our mind and intellect with our innate qualities or inherent divinity of the soul – the attributes of peace, love, bliss, purity and power.  This is Raja Yoga – to realign with this inherent self.

So, it begins by firstly recognizing and understanding that the true nature of the self is non-physical.  I am consciousness, I am soul, and the soul is eternal.  Perhaps we have this as an understanding but we have to translate this into an experience and further into an attitude so that I view my world and I respond to my world from this premise that I am a soul.  When I come from soul consciousness, I come from the awareness of being eternal, of being energy, of being divinely created – so it results in me creating a capacity within me or attitude within me to respond from a place of love and peace.  Why?  When I truly connect with myself as being eternal I am secure and I free myself from the most basic fear, the fear of death.  This internal security, this internal peace, this internal attitude of focusing on what is beyond the stream of constant change emerges two powerful personality traits. Firstly, I build the capacity to be stable emotionally and mentally irrespective of the change around me.  Secondly, it helps to engage with others with the attitude and understanding that the innate nature of every soul is goodness.  So a spirit of love and respect for all emerges, not only for people but also for nature and all creatures. When love emerges then love creates a feeling of connection and harmony.

How to begin this practice?

Just as when we are unwell we end up breathing in a shallow way, sometimes gasping for breath – in the same way, a mind that is too busy and has far too many thoughts is a soul gasping for inner peace. How do we create silence in the mind?  Silence is not emptiness, but silence is a mind resting on a pure thought.

Extract: the Man who loved angels by Anthony Strano.

A second is the unit of time, just as a thought is the basic unit of consciousness.  A body has many cells and so do time and consciousness.  Whether we measure time in terms of eternity, ages, cycles centuries years…hours minutes, the basic unit or cell is a second.  We may measure consciousness in terms of awareness, attitudes, beliefs, feelings, behaviour, aliveness, responses but the basic unit or cell is always a thought.  If these basic units of time and thoughts are weak then the whole of time and consciousness suffers.  So how do we create inner silence, we begin by a practice of taking one thought in one second and make them work together.

Take one second to think one thought

Slowly and faithfully think: I am

Add another second and another thought: a soul

Add another second or two and think: I am peace

Add another second or two and think: I am a being of peace.

Repeat these thoughts gently to yourself, paying special attention to them.  There is no need to rush, no need for second thoughts or ideas going anywhere else.  Just focus on the original self.

Practising this daily several times, we teach ourselves to think the right thoughts at the right time.  We free ourselves from the internal chatter and begin to feel more, listen more and be more.  As we reconnect with ourselves we harmonize mind with breath, spirit with body, consciousness with nature.  When I am aligned internally I can easily harmonize and connect with others and nature, but moreover, I open myself to connect with the Divine Source, with God.  This allows me to draw spiritual power and truly experience the state of Yoga – which is Union with the Highest Source.  The experience of this highest love then flows through my being, my relationships, my work and I become an instrument to create a better world.

Author: Pratiba Daya

In a global culture of doing doing and more doing – where we have learnt to measure the value of ourselves on what we have accumulated, what we do and what positions we have reached  – it has created a need to think excessively.  The internet whilst useful in many ways has also created this information overload and often we bombarded with more information than we are able to digest, and certainly more than we are able to bring into action.

Secondly, we live in times where speed is of uttermost importance.  Doing everything quickly, driving fast, responding quickly which also means thinking quickly.  Where there is speed quality and control gets compromised. And so we end up needing to redo, repair or rebuild – many times our relationships because n the speed of things, things get said or done which have dire consequences.

Learning to pause – is an act of relief for the mind.  Taking a moment to just be still, observe rather than absorb.  Listen rather than speak.  Stop the rush and be present.  It is in these moments of pause that we are able to discern and if need be it gives us the opportunity to realign with that which is more meaningful and valuable.  This moment of pause refreshes and stabilizes the mind.

Have a positive outlook – is an act of protecting your mind.  As we think so we feel.  Have I ever considered the quality of my thinking?  challenges and situations may come my way – but ask the self what is consuming my attention?  Is it really the issue, the personalities involved or the expectations and frustrations not being fulfilled?  Very often our focus leans towards who we can blame for the way we feeling?  Instead of finding a scapegoat for your emotions, it is healthier to adopt the attitude – to every challenge there is a solution.  Stay focused on the solution and this keeps the mind creative and light.

Contemplate deeper truths – is an act of nourishing the mind.  In the same manner as we feed the body the right foods to increase and maintain our bodies in a healthy state, nurture the self by engaging in spiritual truths to elevate your perspective and keep a broader outlook.  Spiritual knowledge and its study helps to draw out the sacred nature of our inner being.  This leads to a feeling of joy, brings meaning to everything I do and express a deeper love.

When we can appreciate that our mind is a sacred gift through which create and experience life then taking care of the mind is an act of honoring this gift.

Learning how to meditate when you’re troubled with anxiety is an important part of self-healing technique that you can’t ignore. It goes without saying that meditation has been widely recommended as a natural remedy for anxiety. Theoretically, it was supposed to provide mind calming experience for those who suffer from anxiety. But the reality is, most people who suffer from anxiety find it hard to meditate. Some even felt frustrated by the fact that they can’t keep their mind silent.

Here are some simple techniques to help you calm down and gently enter a meditative inner state.

Its always helpful to bring with breath.  For the next few minutes let go of any other thoughts and become aware of your breath.  Breathe in deeply filling your lungs, hold your breath for a few seconds and breathe out.  Do so for a few minutes, gently holding your attention on your breath moving in and out.

Next with each breath become aware of your body.  Turn your attention to your feet.  Relax them.  Next your legs.  Then as you move your attention up your spine breathe out the tension you may be feeling – release it.  Next be conscious of your arms and fingers, your neck and shoulders and ultimately your face.  Breathe in deeply and breathe out any tightness. Allow yourself a few moments just to feel the calmness of your body.

Now into your mind an image that you associate most strongly with a feeling of calm – it could be a setting sun, the vast expanse of the ocean or the still waters of a lake.  As you emerge the image in your mind allow yourself to feel the calmness and peace you associate with it.  Breathe in the calmness and breathe out the anxiousness – observe in your mind the colours and the beauty of the image in your mind.  Be in that calmness and feel that energy in your being.

Now tell yourself – I am this being of peace.  This is my true nature.  I am peace. Let your mind linger on this thought and just breathe in peace and breathe out peace for the next few minutes.

Return to this exercise again and again to relax the body before attempting to meditate.  We can only focus the mind when we begin by first relaxing the body and becoming more present to the body.  Thereafter one can begin to journey more deeply into the awareness of the self as consciousness and return to that sweet inner spot of peace of my being.

A simple meditation to return to Inner Peace – extracted from The Man who loved Angels by Anthony Strano

A second is a unit of time, just as thought is the basic unit of consciousness. A body has many cells, and so do time and consciousness. Whether we measure time in terms of eternity, ages, cycles centuries millennia, years, seasons, months, days, hours or minutes- the basic unit, or cell, remains the second. We may measure consciousness in terms of awareness, attitude, feelings, behaviour, choices, aliveness, responses but the basic unit, or cell, is always a thought.

If these two basic units of time and consciousness are weak, then the whole of time and consciousness suffers.

Just as cancer begins in a single cell and spreads to other cells, so the same happens in human life as the infected seconds and thoughts spread. Ultimately this results in emotional, mental and even physical disease in the human body and mind, since our conscious life is acted and expressed within and through time. … How can we begin to heal ourselves?

If we take one second, the tiniest unit of time, and one thought, the tiniest unit of consciousness we can make them work together.

Take one second to think one thought
Slowly and faithfully think:”I am”.
Add another second and another thought: “a soul”.
Add another second or two and think: “I am peace”
Add another second or two and think: ”I am a being of peace”.

Repeat:
“I am a soul
I am peace
I am a being of peace.”

Repeat these thoughts gently to yourself, paying special attention to them. There is no need to rush, no need for second thoughts or ideas going anywhere else. Just focus on these thoughts about the original self.

Throughout the day, gently but deeply repeat this one second one thought meditative exercise.

Speakers: Dr David Hamilton and Sister Jayanti

Do your little bit of good where you are; it’s those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world. Desmond Tutu.

Kindness is an essential ingredient in all healthy relationships, whether with the self, others or nature. Without it we are diminished as human beings and the world becomes a cold and heartless place. At this time of global upheaval and suffering, kindness is needed more than ever. Join us for a fascinating exploration of the spiritual and scientific aspects of this wonderful human quality.

To be taken care of is one of the most primary needs that human beings have. The moment we pass childhood, the responsibility of care shifts from the caregiver to oneself.

Whether one is a teenager or well into adulthood, care of the self is paramount. A human being simply perishes from neglect. As humans are multi-faceted, caring for oneself takes on many meanings. Evidence has shown that care does not end with good body hygiene, good nutrition and excercise.

The spirit within needs constant attention. On a daily basis we are surrounded by a variety of negative factors both internal and external that impede our functioning.

One who is spiritually minded works tirelessly in order to keep an “internally clean house “. This requires a vigilance as to what type of thoughts one has and also what type of feelings/ emotions are going on inside.

There is inherent duty to protect oneself from harm which entails a lot of introspection. Dwelling on the past, living with regrets, no matter how negative they were is not justifiable under any circumstances. Focusing on ones failures, errors, dark side is equally counter productive. Also, internalising the negativity that surrounds one on a daily basis is very dangerous.

Further, the world is filled with examples of individuals who are trapped in a cycle of negative/toxic relationships. Careful consideration given to each person who one gives one’s time to is crucial to a balanced life.

A spiritually aware individual measures every word before articulating it and every action before conducting it. The reason for this is the deep seated awareness of the law of karma.

Very few are aware that as human beings we have the option of choosing our thoughts, feelings and experiences. Many feel powerless to stop the train of negative thoughts and feelings.

Spirituality means that l the soul take on the responsibilty of ensuring that no negative thought or emotion overwhelms me. I choose with care what goes on in the heart and mind. Such a soul does everything in its power to shift oneself away from any negative tendencies and embrace only ones good qualities.

Daily effort is required to ensure that all one’s experiences, both internal and external are balanced, harmonious and conducive to a good quality life.

Join Sr Jayanti as she is interviewed by Ntombikanina during her live program on the 24th June in Johannesburg.

The world around us, offers many possibilities for learning, experimenting and experiencing.  We are surrounded by information, in fact the times we live in is called the information age.  The easy access and information, may have stimulated us and made us more knowledgeable.  However, when we look at the human condition we seem none the wiser, in fact in some ways the quality of our lives has deteriorated.

The need of our times is to extract deeper wisdom.  Why?  So that our decisions can serve and provide long term benefit, not only for ourselves but for the communities we live in.  Where do we derive deeper wisdom from?  Wisdom doesn’t come from outside of us, wisdom is a process of emerging a deeper truth from within.

“What is education?  One lovely definition is being able ‘to draw out’ that which is within us – the English word ‘education’ derives from the Latin ducacre, meaning ‘to lead, draw or bring’ and e, meaning ‘out’.  If we wish to be educated, then, we must trustingly assume that we have, at our core, both sound qualities and a bank of well-judged experiences and knowledge.”

To begin to sow the seeds of deeper wisdom begins by cultivating the practice of learning to look within, reflectively and with loving kindness. When attention is turned inward, awareness is created to the quality of my thinking.  Our thoughts are powerful packets of energy, powerful seeds which can have a huge impact.  From the tiny acorn the mighty oak grows – similarly, our thoughts grow into ideas, vision, attitudes, relationships and perceptions.  In other words with our thoughts we create the world we live in.  Remembering this can chart the course of your life onto a path of possibility or obstacles.

Learning to create a moment of pause, to reflect within allows us to listen to the voice of our conscience.  Therein lies the wisdom – the inner knowingness that guides our outer life.  Wisdom emerges from this practise of creating a pause in the mind to listen … and hear through the silence. To create this inner silence, focus the mind on the inner self, as an energy of peace and light.  Just knowing that peace is innate, it comes from within.  It is your most natural state.

One of our greatest challenges is learning the art of creating balance.  We often find ourselves working at extreme ends of the pendulum – this lack of knowing how to integrate all the aspects of my life can lead to inner frustration and tension.  Instead of segmenting our lives into sections, spiritual consciousness makes us aware of things moving in cycles.  One of the very first aspects of spirituality, knowing the self, means not only knowing your present state of consciousness – whether you think of it as masculine and analytical or feminine and intuitive –but actually being able to stand back, become detached and able to see the self in the awareness of eternity.  When you willing to step away from the consciousness of matter, step away from the body and step back a little, then in that consciousness you begin to have a tiny glimpse of eternal consciousness.  It’s only through this very personal awareness and feeling of eternal consciousness that you’re then able to look at the world around you and the concept of time  and become able to see time as a cycle.  Within the soul there is a part that is recorded, which is why at times you intuitively know what you are going to say to me, or intuitively I know what is around the next corner.  It’s as if there is an awareness recorded within the self.  Sometimes, especially when we hear spiritual teachings, we have a sense of having heard all of this before, of it being pre-recorded within the self.  Someone has just come along and been the stimulus, awakening that consciousness.  So as you listen it doesn’t feel like listening to new information, it’s as if you listening to things you already know, knowledge that you have heard before, facts that perhaps you intuited previously but were not able to formulate in words.  Within this eternal being that you are is this amazing storehouse of information- everything is already recorded within the self and the insight you gain through meditation and spiritual study will open it up for you.

Extracted from Awakening Your Inner Wisdom by Sr Jayanti