Family, the word itself creates a feeling of warmth, love, safety & acceptance. From the moment a child is born into a family, it is like an unwritten agreement of unconditional belonging between the baby & the family.
Over decades of rapid change in lifestyles the family structure has undergone changes which challenges us to sustain strong family bonds in a modernised world.
The basis of any healthy relationship is TRUST. When there is a lack of trust it adds to self-doubt, unmet expectations and second guessing each other. Trust allows for an atmosphere of safety which is a healthy environment for honest, authentic conversations. Trust removes the element of feeling judged and its in such an atmosphere that there is a feeling of mutual respect and growth. Such a level of security implies that instead of looking for a listener outside the safety net of the home, one will naturally be drawn towards the inner circle of family and reach out for help.
Very often as a family we tend to live past each other – each one absorbed in their own priorities and schedules. Each one rushing and there not being enough time. Often the misunderstanding is that we need a lot of time. However its quality not quantity, its about being fully present and listening.
Like the fingers of the same hand being different, hence each one has a particular strength and weakness. As a family each member is different and unique. Family is about these individual personalities finding common ground in the values they share. What enables there to be harmony in spite of the variety and the difference is the vision each one holds for the other. Conflict usually occurs when we trying to create a single mould into which each one needs to fit in. But when there is acceptance of the uniqueness of the other we can use the difference as a strength. This brings harmony. At a spiritual level it relates to seeing the other as a soul, a spiritual being who has been gifted with qualities from the Divine. This vision instils a deep and profound respect.
Our social conditioning plays a huge role whereby each one assumes roles based on cultural influences. Todays society in many ways challenges these traditional roles, because our current time requires both genders to contribute to both earning financially but also household chores. Unless we adapt to these changing roles with a keen sense of appreciation of each ones contribution there can be conflict. Conflict usually occurs because of power based on the ego and the need for control. It comes back to trust, where there is trust there is no need for ego. Differences need to be communicated but with understanding and love. Often there is a dance we need to learn between humility and self-respect to navigate this.
Finally the invasion of social-media and with the advent of AI, family bonds seem unimportant and something which can be avoided in comparison to the thousands of virtual friendships and array of followers lined up which makes up for all the needs of companionship. The age-old saying that man is a social animal has slowly but rapidly transformed into man is a virtual prisoner.
We crave connection, because connection is what makes us feel valued. Virtual connections give a temporary high – however it is often just fake. Real connections occur when we are together. It is a very widely spoken about fact that a family that eats together and prays together stays strong together. When a family sits together for meals, firstly each one is giving a slice of their time into the joint project called “family” and as we all know that money may come and go but time once gone can never come back. Meal times are an opportunity to share the dramas of each ones day – allowing for a shared feeling of belonging. Similarly, when we pray together, we are combining our individual energies and linking with the Supreme energy whom we refer to as God or Almighty. Such combined remembrance of God fills each one with Love, Joy, Peace, Wisdom and Purity and these positive virtues ignited in each one will fill the home with a nurturing energy which will sustain harmony and peace.
The golden rule for creating and sustaining harmony among family members respect and love without any judgement or pre-conceived notions. Spend quality time with each other enriching each one. Harmony stems from a deep, unconditional affection. This love is the first type of love a person experiences and is essential for emotional well-being, providing a foundation of security and support.